We study doctrine until we worship (Abner Chou).
Shepherd’s Conference, 2020.
Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other (John Adams).
The general principles upon which the Fathers achieved independence were the general principles of Christianity (John Adams).
We are justified by faith alone, as the Reformers taught, but not by a faith that is alone. To truly receive the words of God is to intentionally, through a joyous faith in our crucified and resurrected Lord and active reliance upon His Spirit, obey them. Consider that if exposure to God’s word in the spoken gospel and the written Scriptures doesn’t soon change your behavior (even if slower than you might hope), if the transformation of your inner person does not extend to your outer life, you may well be wandering in the dream of those who never knew Him (Greg Morse).
“I Never Knew You” – Fatal Dreams of the Religious Lost, November 14, 2019, DesiringGod.org.
Sometimes pastors become pastures. The sheep feed in them and trample them, but so not follow them (Mark Absher).
Quoted in: Lynn Anderson, They Smell Like Sheep, Howard, 1997, p. 186. Used by Permission.
A follow of Jesus Christ who seeks to lead like Jesus must be willing to be treated like Jesus. Some will follow. Others will throw stones (C. Gene Wilkes).
Quoted in: Lynn Anderson, They Smell Like Sheep, Howard, 1997, p. 158. Used by Permission.
Find someone who knows more than you and learn from that person. And find someone who needs what you know and teach that person. Every Christian is a student; every Christian is a teacher (Grady Jolly).
Quoted in: Lynn Anderson, They Smell Like Sheep, Howard, 1997, p. 94. Used by Permission.
The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision (Helen Keller).
Quoted in: Lynn Anderson, They Smell Like Sheep, Howard, 1997, p. 168. Used by Permission.
After all the high-blown theories are offered about why Jesus wept, we finally come down to the simple truth: Jesus wept because He cared. When He heard the sobs of the sisters of Lazarus, Jesus simply could not hold back His own tears. I doubt He tried. And the Holy Spirit, along with the New Testament writers, seems proud of that (Lynn Anderson).
They Smell Like Sheep, Howard, 1997, p. 104-105. Used by Permission.
The church needs elders who “live in the Word,” not merely “study the Bible.” Our best passions can be stirred by a shepherd who lives under the Cross with blood in his tracks and a Bible in his hands (Lynn Anderson).
They Smell Like Sheep, Howard, 1997, p. 140-141. Used by Permission.
Oh, how God’s church needs leaders who model persistent prayer, whose prayers glow with fervency, and who authentically believe God hears and cares. And how our spirits soar when leaders model vibrant praise and worship to God, who are unashamed to throw back their heads open their mouths, and let their adoration – even their tears – flow in free and authentic worship (Lynn Anderson).
They Smell Like Sheep, Howard, 1997, p. 150. Used by Permission.
No one can enter the kingdom without the invitation of God, and no man can remain outside of it but by his own deliberate choice. Man cannot save himself; but he can damn himself (T.W. Manson).
The Sayings of Jesus, SCM, 1937, p. 72-73.
1. There are many who profess to know Christ who are mistaken. What evidences do you have that you have been given life by God?
2. What does it mean for a person to love God? In what ways do you see true biblical love toward God demonstrated in your life? Do you see true biblical love toward God in the lives of your wife and each of your children?
3. How does your wife feel about your commitment to pastoring?
4. Why do you believe God wants you in the pastorate?
5. Closely examine each of the Bible’s qualifications for pastors and deacons (1 Tim. 3; Titus 1:5-9; Acts 6:1-6; 1 Pet. 5:1-4). Which are you strongest qualities? With which requirements do you have the most trouble? Why do you believe these areas of difficulty do not presently disqualify you from ministering? (Note the phrase “must be” in 1 Tim. 3:2.)
6. A pastor is charged by God to preach to the church and to shepherd the people in a more individual way. Which aspect of the ministry appeals to you the most? What are some specific ways you could be helped to develop your skills in either of these areas?
7. What are your methods for involving yourself in the lives of your people as their shepherd and overseer of their souls?
8. What activities characterize your evangelistic interest? What is your approach to personal evangelism? corporate evangelism?
9. What is your approach to counseling? How do you handle your counseling load?
10. What are your specific and regular practices regarding the spiritual disciplines (e.g., personal prayer, Bible study, meditation, stewardship, learning, etc.)?
11. How would you describe a successful pastor? How would you describe a successful church?
12. How is the pastor held accountable? What relationships in your life currently provide accountability for responsible attitudes and behavior, both personally and as pastor?
13. Who are your favorite Christian writers, commentators, theologians, etc.? Why? What books have you read in the past year?
14. Describe an instance when you made attempts to reform the church in some significant area. What were the results? What did it cost you personally?
15. Describe your leadership style. What have been some weaknesses? Strengths?
16. When you have met with opposition, has it been mostly related to your style of leadership, your personality, your beliefs, or something else?
17. According to your observations, what doctrines need special emphasis in our day?
18. What is true biblical repentance?
19. What is true biblical faith?
20. Explain justification by faith. What is the difference between the Catholic view of justification and the biblical view?
21. Please explain your view of sanctification. What are the various means God uses to sanctify the believer?
22. Can a person have Christ as his Savior without submitting to Him as Lord? Explain.
23. What is your position on the inerrancy of Scripture?
24. Explain the biblical term “baptism of the Spirit.” When does this baptism occur?
25. What are your views on baptism by water?
26. How does the Bible relate the sovereignty of God to salvation?
27. What does the Bible teach about the extent of man’s depravity?
28. What does Christ’s atonement accomplish?
29. What does the Bible teach about the perseverance and preservation of believers?
30. What is the proper use of the Old Testament law?
31. How do you articulate your present view of end-time or eschatological issues?
32. Do you believe that Jesus Christ was born of a virgin? What is the significance of your belief?
33. What is your interpretation of the biblical teaching on Hell?
34. Do you believe that the events described in Genesis 1-11 are factual or symbolic?
35. What does the Bible teach concerning spiritual gifts? Please delineate your views about prophecy and speaking in tongues.
36. What is your view of divorce and remarriage? How strictly will you follow this view in practice?
37. What is your view of the phrase, “The bishop [pastor] then must be…the husband of one wife” (1 Tim. 3:2)?
38. What are your requirements for performing a marriage ceremony?
39. Please explain your views on church discipline. Relate any personal experience.
40. How would you handle a case of scandal or immorality by a church member?
41. What is your view on abortion?
42. Many children who appear to be converted at an early age show no evidence of knowing Christ later. How do you handle children when they come to you for counsel concerning conversion? What is your advice to parents?
43. What is a useful plan for receiving new members into the church? What are prerequisites?
44. What are your views on styles of church music?
45. Who should direct the worship of the church? Why? Which methods of leading corporate worship are appropriate? Which are inappropriate?
46. What does the Bible teach is the purpose of the church’s weekly gathering?
47. What are your views regarding raising money for various projects within the church? Should the church solicit those outside the church?
48. What are your convictions about the local church and debt?
49. What does the Bible teach about women in pastoral ministry?
50. What does the Bible teach about how churches should make decisions?
51. How should a pastor and his church relate to other churches locally and (if denominational) to the larger body? Do you feel comfortable cooperating with other denominations? Do you draw any lines?
52. What are the biblical responsibilities of elders? Are there any distinctions between elders, pastors, and overseers? If applicable, what distinctions exist between staff and non-staff pastors?
53. What are the biblical responsibilities of deacons? How are deacons and elders to relate?
54. What emphasis do you give to the leadership of fathers with their families, especially in terms of family worship? Do you personally engage in family worship with your wife and children?
55. What is your missionary vision for the church? How are you currently demonstrating missionary interest and involvement? (Jim Elliff and Don Whitney)
Questions for a Prospective Pastor, Christian Communicators Worldwide, www.CCWtoday.org.Used by Permission.
A woman’s heart bears God’s image differently than a man’s does, but no less accurately. Indeed, with only the masculine qualities that men exhibit, God’s image is not completely displayed in this world. Men must realize that those feminine qualities that seem so baffling (and to a certain extent always will) are things of beauty and honor that manifest aspects of the image of God. Far from wishing that a woman’s perspective could just be ignored or somehow fixed, Christian men should look upon women with wonder and joy – indeed, with the very delight once expressed by Adam in the Garden! (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 75-76. Used by Permission.
A man may have a charismatic personality; he may be a gifted administrator and a silken orator; he may be armed with an impressive program; he may even have the people skills of a politician and the empathic listening skills of a counselor; but he will starve the sheep if he cannot feed the people of God on the Word of God. Programs and personalities are dispensable. But without food, sheep die. Feeding the flock is therefore the pastor’s first priority. “Feed my lambs” (John 21:15, ESV) (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
The Role of the Pastor, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 94, www.crosswaybooks.org.
God’s Word is His supernatural power for accomplishing His supernatural work. That’s why our eloquence, innovations, and programs are so much less important than we think; that’s why we as pastors must give ourselves to preaching, not programs; and that’s why we need to be teaching our congregations to value God’s Word over programs. Preaching the content and intent of God’s Word is what unleashes the power of God on the people of God, because God’s power for building His people is in His Word, particularly as we find it in the Gospel (Rom. 1:16). God’s Word builds His church. So preaching His Gospel is primary (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
The Four P’s, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 35, www.crosswaybooks.org.
Factors taken into consideration [when evaluating the potential for missionary support]:
1. The strategic nature of the work.
2. Relationship to “our” church.
3. Amount of money already in hand.
4. Competency (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
The Agenda: What to Talk About, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 183-184, www.crosswaybooks.org.
Second Corinthians 6:14-15 warns [Christians], “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” This, like all of God’s other commands, is not a cruel barrier to our happiness, but a loving restriction that preserves us for God’s blessing. The blessings that we are hoping for come from God alone. Therefore, we must start with obedience to His Word. Only a relationship in which both partners are Christians can possibly result in the kind of love that only God can give (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 56. Used by Permission.
God’s Word has always been His chosen instrument to create, convict, convert, and conform His people (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
The Four P’s, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 33, www.crosswaybooks.org.
The longer we serve in ministry, the more we see that pretty much everyone is envying everyone else. It is really pitiful. None of us has the circumstances we really want, and the circumstances we have always provide us with challenges. What a shame it is when we allow such envy and resentment to hinder the Christian fellowship that ought to be one of our chief blessings in this life (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 166. Used by Permission.
These are the hallmarks of good worship songs, whether they’re hymns or choruses: biblical accuracy, God-centeredness, theological and/or historical progression, absence of first-person singular pronouns, and music that complements the tone of the lyrics (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Music, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 120, www.crosswaybooks.org.
It makes sense that we only sing songs that use [God’s] Word both accurately and generously. The more accurately applied scriptural theology, phrases, and allusions, the better – because the Word builds the church, and music helps us to remember that Word, which we seem so quickly to forget (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Applying the Regulative Principle, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 85, www.crosswaybooks.org.
Leadership, like other gifts of the Spirit, is for the edifying of the body of Christ. It is not presumptuous, therefore, to feel the desire to lead if we are called to it (Derek Prime and Alistair Begg).
On Being a Pastor, Moody Press, 2004, p. 218.
A woman was given not for a man’s whims but for his character. She elevates him in true masculinity. It takes a woman to make a real man. This is God’s design, and we tamper with it at our peril (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 30. Used by Permission.
To call a woman a helper is not to emphasize her weakness but her strength, not to label her as superfluous but as essential to Adam’s condition and to God’s purpose in the world. Helper is a position of dignity given to the woman by God Himself (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 26-27. Used by Permission.
The woman ministers to the man in the role of helper. She helps him to do and to be what God calls for. She treats him as a brother in Christ, not as a savior who is to fulfill her every desire (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 80. Used by Permission.
A wife submits voluntarily, not merely as demanded and enforced by the man. It is a gift that a woman offers to the man she has vowed to love in obedience to God who first loved her. For this reason, it is imperative that a woman’s submission be “as to the Lord,” that is, flowing from the submissive obedience she already yields to Jesus Christ (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 83. Used by Permission.
According to the Bible, baptism is fundamentally a physical sign of a spiritual reality. Matthew 28:18-20 indicates that it is for believers only, the initial step of obedience in our new life of discipleship to Christ. Romans 6:1-4 is even more specific, indicating that baptism symbolizes our death and burial with Christ as our representative head, and our spiritual resurrection with Him from the symbolic grave. Colossians 2:11-13 indicates even more specifically still that baptism is the physical representation of the spiritual circumcision of our hearts (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
The Role of the Ordinances, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 105, www.crosswaybooks.org.
Church leaders who have been committed to seeing the church reformed according to God’s Word down through the ages have had a common method: read the Word, preach the Word, pray the Word, sing the Word, see the Word (in the ordinances). Often referred to by theologians as the elements of corporate worship, these five basics are essential to the corporate life, health, and holiness of any local church (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Applying the Regulative Principle, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 81, www.crosswaybooks.org.
Leaders have an agenda, look for ways to incorporate others into their plans, and have a high need for control in life. Balanced with graciousness, leaders become a treasure because they make things happen, create organization out of chaos, and motivate people to action (Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller).
Parenting is Heart Work, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected].
Two of the most godly and disarming ways to display humility are accountability and correctability (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Beginning the Word, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 46, www.crosswaybooks.org.
Music is a subset of our corporate worship, and corporate worship is a subset of our total-life worship (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Music, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 115, www.crosswaybooks.org.
If what we’re doing on Sunday mornings is corporate worship, then it makes sense to give deliberate preference to congregational singing – singing that involves the active participation of the whole congregation (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Music, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 117, www.crosswaybooks.org.
If God is my portion, if God is the true source of my joy, and if it is God who will fulfill me, then I am free to be a companion instead of a consumer. That is, because of what I receive from God I can give to another person instead of always taking; I can minister rather than manipulate because of the fulfillment I get from God (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 58. Used by Permission.
The authority of the pastor is derived and declarative. In other words, the pastor has authority only insofar as what he is saying is faithful to the Message of the One who has sent him (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Decision Making: How to Talk About It, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 191, www.crosswaybooks.org.
A first date should be safe, relating and fun. It should minimize awkward, compromising scenes. We think it best if the first date not be a place at night, both to create a more casual setting and to minimize sexual tension. The goal is to get to know each other better and to begin the process of sharing that, Lord willing, may lead to a closer relationship down the road (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 121. Used by Permission.
Some advice… about first dates. For the man, be polite, well dressed, and on time. All of these things show respect and consideration. Don’t be so intent on impressing her with worldly things, such as your car and the money you can spend, at least if you are hoping for the kind of woman commended in the Bible. Take her to a place that will make her feel comfortable and safe. Take an interest in her, and don’t talk all the time. Ask her questions and listen to what she says in reply. You should be interested in getting to know her heart and the character of her relationship to Christ. Above all, our Lord commands you: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 19:19). Your guiding rule should be to ensure that a woman who spends time with you is spiritually encouraged by the experience. You must take responsibility to ensure that conversation is wholesome and godly. Remember that you are out either with your future wife or with the future wife of some other Christian man. Start honoring marriage now (Heb. 13:4), and thus honor God. If this is not the woman whom God has for you to marry, then assume that her future husband may be on a first date with your future wife. Do unto him as you would have him do unto you (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 123-124. Used by Permission.
One last thing for the guys: call her the next day or evening. A woman feels tremendous anxiety about a first date, even if she isn’t very much interested in the man. Express appreciation for the time you had together, and communicate to her where you think things stand. That’s right – it’s what you must do to protect her heart. If you are sure that you have no further interest, then graciously let her know that. How about this: “I enjoyed the time we spent together, but I don’t think I’m really interested in going out again.” Is that cruel? It may not be good news to her, but if it is true, then it is godly and gracious. How much better this is than giving polite but false impressions that may encourage her to cherish false hopes… This kind of follow-up to a first date is more than a courtesy; it is the reasonable duty of any thoughtful Christian man (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 124-125. Used by Permission.
For the woman: here is your first-date advice. Remember that God wants you to help this man, and he probably needs it! Many men will be awkward and nervous on a first date, so do everything you can to be encouraging and friendly. Dress attractively, appropriately, and modestly (unless you really are hoping to attract a cad). Immodest dress or suggestive conversation is nothing less than an attempt to manipulate his interest. Women who do this incite men to lust and cause them to stumble, while starting the relationship on a very poor footing. Furthermore, do not be demanding or critical and do not complain (remember Prov. 21:9), and speak in a careful and edifying manner. Take an interest in him and get to know things about his life – his family, his work, and his interests. Speak freely about your faith and inquire about his (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 125. Used by Permission.
Women, too, need to remember the appropriate level of commitment and intimacy on a first date. Guard your heart and your expectations. Do not enter into a first date dreaming about marriage or trying out his last name with your first name; be emotionally prepared for it not to work out. One of the reasons the Christian man may be uneasy about dating is that the risk is too high among many other believers. If he doesn’t end up marrying her, his name will be mud with all the other women at church! Such a man fears to date lest he be forced to leave a church he loves. This kind of situation is unreasonable and unfair; the woman can help by keeping expectations in check and allowing the man to interact with her without easily breaking her heart. But insist that he treat you with respect and care, and do the same to him in return. Like the man, you should resolve that time he spends in your company will have been to his spiritual blessing and will have been pleasing to the Lord. If you don’t want to go out again, be honest. But don’t tell your friends about the things you found unattractive; protect his reputation and cover his flaws in love (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 126. Used by Permission.
What is the commitment level on a first date? It is low – brother and sister in Christ. This certainly calls for care and respect. But it does not make it appropriate or wise for you to share your dirty laundry and open wide your heart. A first date is for wholesome interaction and the beginnings of a relationship, and it should not have the features of intimacy that are safe only in a more committed relationship. This, of course, means that there should be no sexual contact, and a godly man communicates respect for a woman’s character by making no such advances or innuendos (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 124. Used by Permission.
God’s gifts cannot be enjoyed without obedience to Him as the Giver (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 49. Used by Permission.
The crux of the human problem, according to Israel’s faith, is not the fact of suffering but the character of man’s relationship to God. Outside the relationship for which man was created, suffering drives men to despair or to the easy solutions of popular religion. Within the relationship of faith, suffering may be faced in the confidence that man’s times are in God’s hands and that “in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
Only when we are finding our ultimate satisfaction in God are we able to relate rightly to one another (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 56. Used by Permission.
A typical mistake made by Christian singles is to ask, “How far can we go?” The very question reveals a troubling attitude, and the one who asks it has already gone too far. But since it is the question that many really want to ask, this is an honest response to the Bible’s teaching: “Not very far at all.” Physical, sexual interaction between a man and a woman is reserved for marriage. Too many Christians believe that so long as full-blown sexual intercourse is resisted, other forms of sexual interaction are acceptable. But such an attitude is far out of line with the Bible (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 144. Used by Permission.
Far from inviting us to play around as much as possible and as close to the fire as we can without getting burned, [the Bible] makes it clear that a sincere Christian will cultivate the highest moral and sexual purity, as essential to his or her worship of God [1 Thes. 4:3-5; Eph. 5:3-5] (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 148. Used by Permission.
Should we “go as far as we can” without getting into trouble? That is how unbelieving people think (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 145. Used by Permission.
Many men think of the call to give themselves for a woman solely in terms of her protection. They say, “I would defend her if there was trouble. If someone attacked her I would step up for her protection.” But they fail to realize that when a woman enters a dating relationship, she mainly needs to be protected from the sins of the very man to whom she is offering her heart. The enemy that men need to stand up to is the one who lives within themselves: the one who is selfish, insensitive, and uncommitted. It is when that man is put to death that the woman will be safe and will be blessed in the relationship (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 72. Used by Permission.
A Christian man who takes the lead in sexual purity, and who tells the woman that her heart means more to him than her body, and her purity is more valuable to him than his own pleasure, liberates her from a cruel bondage and gives her a blessing that words can hardly describe (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 153. Used by Permission.
One of the reasons why so many fall into sexual sin – bringing guilt into the relationship and short-circuiting its emotional and spiritual growth – is that they place themselves in tempting situations. This is simply foolish, and Christian men and women who are realistic about sexual temptation will not put themselves in a position to fall (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 118. Used by Permission.
Sexual sin will damage and often ruin a promising relationship. It stops the development of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 152. Used by Permission.
How are you to avoid falling into sexual sin? The answer is this: while you struggle with unfulfilled sexual desires, the last thing you should do is to toy with them. Human sexuality operates on a positive-feedback system. Each stimulus is designed not to leave you satisfied but to increase your desire until you finally join in sexual intercourse (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 149-150. Used by Permission.
It is commonly accepted among men today that the great danger is to get married too early. The thought of marriage is approached with fear and trepidation, with the threat of what the man will lose mainly in mind. But in the view of Genesis 2 – and in our experience in ministering to singles – the greater danger is what will happen to the man if he doesn’t marry. It is not good for a single man to develop selfish and otherwise sinful habits. It is not good for a man to grow older without the sanctifying influences of a wife and children. It is not good for a man to battle with sexual frustrations. (The same things might be said about a woman, too, but the Bible is specifically talking here about the man.) What is good for a man is to seek a relationship that will blossom into marriage – the sooner in adult life, the better (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 21. Used by Permission.
When the Gospel enables us to live in love, even though we may have nothing else in common save Christ, it is a testimony to its power to transform a group of sinful, self-centered people into a loving community united by a common relationship with Jesus Christ (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Loving Each Other, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 111, www.crosswaybooks.org.
Worship is a total life orientation of engaging with God on the terms that He proposes and in the way that He provides (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Music, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 115, www.crosswaybooks.org.
To the extent that we forget that our status before God is due to what Christ has done for us, we will try to make out own relationship with God depend on winning His approval (Ranald Macauley and Jerram Barrs).
Being Human, p. 73.
According to Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:17-34, the Lord’s Supper is several things all wrapped into one. It is first an opportunity to express the unity of the church (vv. 18-19, 33). It is therefore, second, a fellowship of God’s people (vv. 20-21, 33). Third, it is intended as a symbolic remembrance of Christ’s sinless life and atoning death on our behalf (vv. 24-25). Fourth, it is intended as a proclamation of Christ’s death, resurrection, and return (v. 26). And fifth, it is a built-in opportunity for self-examination (vv. 28-29) (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
The Role of the Ordinances, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 107, www.crosswaybooks.org.
A healthy church is a Godward-looking church. We look in dependence on Him for our message, our method, and the transformation of our churches into the image of Christ (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Conclusion, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 197, www.crosswaybooks.org.
If we are coming to church only as consumers, to get our own needs met, then we have missed the point of the church. We are not merely intended to get our needs met. We are intended to be part of God’s plan for drawing other people to Himself, for encouraging and building up those who are already His children. Each member is not simply intended to be a consumer. We are all intended to be providers. We are colaborers with God Himself in the work of the Gospel (1 Cor. 3:9)! Some of us may well be introverted or less talkative. But none of us are designed merely to be ministered to, as if the whole church revolved around our own felt needs and desires. We are all called to “stimulate one another to love and good deeds” and to “bear one another’s burdens” (Heb. 10:24; Gal. 6:2) (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Conclusion, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 198, www.crosswaybooks.org.
The way we understand the Gospel will inform the way we do evangelism. The way we do evangelism will inform the way our hearers understand the Gospel. The way our hearers understand the Gospel will inform the way they live the Gospel. The way our hearers live the Gospel will have a direct bearing on the corporate witness of our churches in our communities. The corporate witness of our churches will in turn make our evangelism either easier or harder, depending on whether that witness is a help or a hindrance. And difficulty, or lack thereof, in evangelism will come to bear on our church planting efforts, which brings us back to laying foundations (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Doing Responsible Evangelism, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 51, www.crosswaybooks.org.
So what are the essentials of evangelism? We can sum them up in four words: God, man, Christ, and response. God is our holy Creator and righteous Judge. He created us to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever (Gen. 2:7, 16-17; 18:25; Matt. 25:31-33). But mankind has rebelled against God by sinning against His holy character and law (Gen. 3:1-7). We’ve all participated in this sinful rebellion, both in Adam as our representative head and in our own individual actions (1 Kings 8:46; Rom. 3:23; 5:12,19; Eph. 2:1-3). As a result, we have alienated ourselves from God and have exposed ourselves to His righteous wrath, which will banish us eternally to hell if we are not forgiven (Eph. 2:12; John 3:36; Rom. 1:18; Matt. 13:50). But God sent Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man, to die the death that we deserved for our sins – the righteous for the unrighteous – so that God might both punish our sin in Christ and forgive it in us (John 1:14; Rom. 3:21-26; 5;6-8; Eph. 2:4-6). The only saving response to this Good News is repentance and belief (Matt. 3:2; 4:17; Mark 1:15; Luke 3:7-9; John 20:31). We must repent of our sins (turn from them and to God) and believe in Jesus Christ for forgiveness of our sins and reconciliation to God (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Doing Responsible Evangelism, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 51-52, www.crosswaybooks.org.
What we need most are seeker-sensitive lives, not seeker-sensitive services (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 209, www.crosswaybooks.org.
No one person can be the source of your contentment. Contentment comes only from God, and the sooner we start seeking it in Him, the better off we will be (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 171. Used by Permission.
Deacons…serve to care for the physical and financial needs of the church, and they do so in a way that heals divisions, brings unity under the Word, and supports the leadership of the elders. Without this practical service of the deacons, the elders will not be freed to devote themselves to praying and serving the Word to the people. Elders need deacons to serve practically, and deacons need elders to lead spiritually (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
The Importance of Elders, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 132, www.crosswaybooks.org.
What does the Bible say about dating? Nothing. And everything! Our challenge is to think biblically about an activity that isn’t in the Bible (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 12. Used by Permission.
According to the Bible’s perspective, if you are dating you are not just holding hands, you are holding hearts. What you do with your own heart, and what you do with another’s, is a matter of great importance (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 15. Used by Permission.
A woman needs to know about a man’s background and character before he has worked his way into her heart (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 117. Used by Permission.
God values them with a great love, and men who think the treatment of a Christian woman’s heart will not affect their own relationship with God are seriously mistaken. She is Daddy’s little girl! (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 76. Used by Permission.
Counsel, prayer and accountability – these are three vital tools for healthy, wholesome dating (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 119. Used by Permission.
In a dating relationship, a man does not have a right to expect submission from the woman, since this obligation is reserved for marriage. But backtracking this principle into a dating relationship, a man should take it as his responsibility to lead the relationship, ensuring that it honors God and is a blessing to the woman he is dating… Unlike the norm for worldly men, the Christian is not to exploit the woman sexually, emotionally, or otherwise, but to minister to her needs so that she will be blessed (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 71-72. Used by Permission.
Some specific suggestions for how a Christian man can put these principles into action in a dating relationship:
1. Commit to take the lead in the godliness of your relationship. Read the Bible’s passages about how men and women and all Christians should treat one another. Especially take the lead in establishing boundaries that will keep you from sexual sin. Assume that this woman is going to be your wife or the wife of some other Christian brother (who might be currently dating your future wife). Treat her as the precious sister in Christ that she is.
2. Decide in advance whether or not you are willing to love a woman in the self-sacrificing, nurturing way the Bible describes. Until you are ready to faithfully hold a woman’s heart in your hand, do not enter into a dating relationship.
3. Realizing that God wants you to learn to put her interest ahead of your own, ask her the kinds of things she likes to do and be eager to spend time doing them.
4. Be willing to talk about the relationship. Initiate honest dialogue about how you feel. Do not resent her desire to have the relationship defined, but protect her heart by making your level of commitment clear and thereby making clear the appropriate kind of intimacy to go along with that commitment.
5. Pay attention to her heart. Ask her about her burdens and cares. Seek ways to minister to her and to make her cares your own. Instead of being critical of her, speak words of encouragement and support.
6. Do not be shy in ministering the Word of God to her. Do not preach, but exhort her and call to mind God’s promises and God’s love for her in Jesus Christ. Make it a primary goal that she will be spiritually stronger by having been in a relationship with you.
7. If something about her bothers you, think about how you can encourage her in that area. Realize that none of us is without flaws. Pray for her weakness and try to strengthen her in that area. If your concerns are enough to deter you from wanting to marry her, let her know in a forthright manner while being as considerate as possible (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 77-78. Used by Permission.
In dating [the Christian woman] helps the man by letting him lead the relationship and honoring God alongside him. She helps him by being respectful of his ideas and his relationship to the Lord. This does not mean going along with a man even if he wants to lead her into sin! But it does mean that she helps him to conduct their relationship in a God-honoring way (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 79. Used by Permission.
What, then, does submission and respect look like for a woman in a dating relationship? Here are some guidelines:
1. A woman should allow the man to initiate the relationship. This does not mean that she does nothing. She helps! If she thinks there is a good possibility for a relationship, she makes herself accessible to him and helps him to make conversation, putting him at ease and encouraging him as opportunities arise (she does the opposite when she does not have interest in a relationship with a man). A godly woman will not try to manipulate the start of a relationship, but will respond to the interest and approaches of a man in a godly, encouraging way.
2. A godly woman should speak positively and respectfully about her boyfriend, both when with him and when apart.
3. She should give honest attention to his interests and respond to his attention and care by opening up her heart.
4. She should recognize the sexual temptations with which a single man will normally struggle. Knowing this, she will dress attractively but modestly, and will avoid potentially compromising situations. She must resist the temptation to encourage sexual liberties as a way to win his heart.
5. The Christian woman should build up the man with God’s Word and give encouragement to godly leadership. She should allow and seek biblical encouragement from the man she is dating.
6. She should make “helping” and “respecting” the watchwords of her behavior toward a man. She should ask herself, “How can I encourage him, especially in his walk with God?” “How can I provide practical helps that are appropriate to the current place in our relationship?” She should share with him in a way that will enable him to care for her heart, asking, “What can I do or say that will help him to understand who I really am, and how can I participate in the things he cares about?”
7. She must remember that this is a brother in the Lord. She should not be afraid to end an unhealthy relationship, but should seek to do so with charity and grace. Should the relationship not continue forward, the godly woman will ensure that her time with a man will have left him spiritually blessed (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 85-86. Used by Permission.
Having convictions can be defined as being so thoroughly convinced that Christ and His Word are both objectively true and relationally meaningful that you act on your beliefs regardless of the consequences (Josh McDowll and Bob Hostelter).
Taken from Beyond Belief to Convictions, © 2002, p. 22. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.
The greatest stumbling block for children in worship is that their parents do not cherish the hour. Children can feel the difference between duty and delight. Therefore, the first and most important job of a parent is to fall in love with the worship of God. You can’t impart what you don’t possess (john and Noel Piper).
The Family: Together in God’s Presence, www.DesiringGod.org.
So what are the essentials of [the Gospel]? We can sum them up in four words: God, man, Christ, and response.
1. God is our holy Creator and righteous Judge. He created us to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever (Gen. 2:7, 16-17; 18:25; Matt. 25:31-33).
2. But mankind has rebelled against God by sinning against His holy character and law (Gen. 3:1-7). We’ve all participated in this sinful rebellion, both in Adam as our representative head and in our own individual actions (1 Kings 8:46; Rom. 3:23; 5:12, 19; Eph. 2:1-3). As a result, we have alienated ourselves from God and have exposed ourselves to His righteous wrath, which will banish us eternally to hell if we are not forgiven (Eph. 2:12; John 3:36; Rom. 1:18; Matt. 13:50).
3. But God sent Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man, to die the death that we deserved for our sins – the righteous for the unrighteous – so that God might both punish our sin in Christ and forgive it in us (John 1:14; Rom. 3:21-26; 5;6-8; Eph. 2:4-6).
4. The only saving response to this Good News is repentance and belief (Matt. 3:2; 4:17; Mark 1:15; Luke 3:7-9; John 20:31). We must repent of our sins (turn from them and to God) and believe in Jesus Christ for forgiveness of our sins and reconciliation to God (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Doing Responsible Evangelism, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 51-52, www.crosswaybooks.org.
[A godly single] answers God’s calling in his/her life while single, not waiting for marriage to give him/her happiness or purpose (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 78. Used by Permission.
For the majority of adult Christians, singleness is not a gift but a trial (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 164. Used by Permission.
If you cannot be contented in singleness, you will not be contented in marriage… No one person can be the source of your contentment. Contentment comes only from God, and the sooner we start seeking it in Him, the better off we will be (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 171. Used by Permission.
Too many singles think that life starts only with marriage. But singles must cultivate a purposeful life of Christian growth and service. You are not stuck in a holding pattern, just waiting to land at the great airport of life. The habits you develop as a single will carry over into marriage, and you will probably pass them on to your children. Remember, it is death – not a wedding – that removes every vestige of sin and presents us glorious before God. As singles, we must cultivate godly habits and the fruit of the Spirit that enables us to lead holy and effective lives (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 175. Used by Permission.
Intimacy should therefore follow commitment; commitment is the cup into which intimacy is safely poured and from which it is wholesomely enjoyed (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 35. Used by Permission.
Commitment, intimacy, and interdependence – these are the building blocks by which a healthy dating relationship grows toward marriage. They start out small – a first date does not and normally should not involve a great deal of commitment, intimacy, or interdependence – but as a couple desires to grow toward marriage, they should pray for these qualities to grow in their relationship and they should give of themselves along these lines. This is, by the way, the best way to develop a healthy marriage. A strong marriage draws from the relationship that was developed before the wedding, a relationship that grew according to the architectural plans of God’s design in creation (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 36. Used by Permission.
Lying is stating something, either written, oral, or with other signals, with the intent to mislead (Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller).
Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Anger in You and Your Kids, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected].
Sin needs darkness to grow – it needs isolation disguised as “privacy,” and prideful self-sufficiency disguised as “strength.” Once these conditions prevail, sin is watered with the acid of shame, which then makes darkness appear more attractive to the sinner than light (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Doing Church Discipline, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 68, www.crosswaybooks.org.
The devil’s attack against God begins with the greatest of God’s creatures, the one who has dominion over all else, the one who bears God’s image and holds the dearest place in God’s heart. It says quite a lot that what the devil hated most in God’s perfect world was the man and the woman in their relationship with God (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 38. Used by Permission.
The way to destroy Adam and Eve, [the devil] realized, was to turn their (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 38. Used by Permission.
God’s curse on the woman is alive and well today. Go to any checkout counter and look at the contents of so many women’s magazines. Page after page, article after article, is devoted to the very things God cursed Eve with: an obsession with possessing and captivating men, mainly through beauty and sex. If it is true that women tend both to long for a man and to try to control the man they have, the origin of this problem is found in God’s curse on Eve (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 44-45. Used by Permission.
We can observe three characteristics of this now-cursed desire of the woman for the man. First, the woman’s desire serves her own ends rather than serving first the glory of God and then the well-being of the man. Second, her desire weakens and disarms the man rather than complementing and helping him. Third, her desire for the man is driven by carnal emotions – fear, jealousy, self-pity, anger, pride – rather than by trust in God’s design (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 45. Used by Permission.
Because of this curse, feminine sin involves disrespect toward men, challenging for control, belittling comments, incessant nagging, and exploiting his weaknesses, all in the place of godly respect and helpful companionship. The man must strive against her for headship, for respect, and for the rule that God gave him over the relationship (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 47. Used by Permission.
It was thus in mercy that God cursed the woman and the man, injecting a poison into their relationship for which He alone is the antidote. In the futility of love apart from God, Adam and Eve were to turn back to God, just as we must turn to God today for grace to repent of sin and minister in love. Love between a man and woman simply cannot work without love for God at the center of the relationship; by means of His curses, God mercifully brings this fact to our attention so as to woo us back to Himself (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 49. Used by Permission.
Their [godly elders] humility makes them difficult to offend; their holiness makes them easy to trust; their gentle speech makes them easy to hear as sources of correction or critique; and their hospitality provides a context for spiritual encouragement and edification (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Why Character is Crucial, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 154, www.crosswaybooks.org.
It may be wise to recognize men who are already qualified and are already doing elder-type work rather than to “make” men elders simply by training them (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Looking for a Few Good Men, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 137, www.crosswaybooks.org.
An elder is simply a man of exemplary, Christlike character who is able to lead God’s people by teaching them God’s Word in a way that profits them spiritually (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Looking for a Few Good Men, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 140, www.crosswaybooks.org.
What are the practical benefits of having more than one elder?
1. It balances pastoral weakness.
2. It diffuses congregational criticism.
3. It adds pastoral wisdom.
4. It indigenizes leadership.
5. It enables corrective discipline.
6. It defuses “us vs. him” (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Excerpted from: The Importance of Elders, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 133, www.crosswaybooks.org.
In our wealthy and materialistic society, Christians often tend to trivialize covetousness, but Paul calls it idolatry, and lists it as one of a number of sins that are bringing the wrath of God “upon the sons of disobedience” (Colossians 3:5-6). Concerning the love (or coveting) of money, Paul told Timothy that it was a “root of all kinds of evil” (1 Timothy 6:10). John was speaking of covetousness when he wrote, “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15). “Do not be deceived,” Paul wrote to the church at Corinth. No covetous person “will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) (Jim Elliff and Daryl Wingerd).
Restoring Those Who Fall, Christian Communicators, 2006, p. 12, www.CCWtoday.org. Used by Permission.
It cannot be emphasized enough that once a congregation votes a man in as an elder, they should cooperate with and submit to his leadership joyfully. Without a sincere intention and effort to cooperate with the leadership of the church, there is no point in electing elders to lead the congregation. Unless the elders are leading in an unbiblical or sinful way, uncooperative members are simply a bane to the local church and should seek fellowship elsewhere if their presence becomes divisive (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Getting Started, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 159, www.crosswaybooks.org.
In the right setting – that is marriage – sex is a wonderful gift from God. Sex is given for our good. But God gave sex to be the servant of love and never the slave of lust. God intends for love to express itself in the commitment of marriage, and only then for intimacy to unite us in the joys of sexual love (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 143. Used by Permission.
In today’s society, intimacy means practically nothing more than having sex. Couples meet and immediately begin enjoying sexual intercourse, committing either to immoral hedonism or to the idea that sex will serve as the foundation for love. This goes a long way toward explaining why so many marriages, built on no stronger foundation than sexual thrills, end in divorce soon after the flames of passion have died down (Richard and Sharon Phillips).
Holding Hands and Holding Hearts, P&R, 2006, p. 143. Used by Permission.
The ordinances are the dramatic presentations of the Gospel. They are the moving pictures that represent the spiritual realities of the Gospel, written and directed by Jesus Himself… The ordinances, then, are where we see the Gospel enacted, and our participation in it dramatized. They are where the word of God’s promise is spoken to us in tangible form – we touch and taste the bread and wine; we feel the waters of baptism. They are means of grace instituted by Jesus that God uses to assure His people of the trustworthiness of His Gospel and the reality of our participation in it (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Applying the Regulative Principle, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 85, www.crosswaybooks.org.
Broadly speaking, baptism tends the front door of the church, while the Lord’s Supper tends the back door. Properly administered baptism (i.e., baptism of believers only upon a credible profession of faith) helps to ensure that only genuine believers are admitted into the membership of the church. Properly administered communion (i.e., communion given only to members in good standing of evangelical churches) helps to ensure that those who are under church discipline for unrepented sin do not scandalize the church or eat and drink judgment to themselves by partaking of the Lord’s Supper (1 Cor. 11:29) (Mark Dever and Paul Alexander).
Applying the Regulative Principle, taken from The Deliberate Church, © 2005, Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton Illinois 60187, p. 90, www.crosswaybooks.org.