Perfectionism means striving for an impossibly high standard, usually for selfish ends. In the case of those who are anorexic, the perfectionist drive centers on having the perfect body and eating perfectly; but the underlying issues are selfish motives and sinful desires. Their distorted mind-set descends into bizarre thinking and behaviors because they are actually worshipping themselves. Hardened by their own pride, they become willing to destroy their own body and sacrifice themselves in the pursuit of their ideal self-image. Blinded by their self-righteousness, they cannot see Christ as their righteousness.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 165-166, Used by Permission.
“Self” is at the center of our lusts – our supposed needs for significance, worth, security, identity, or esteem. A psychologized, man-centered view of God and of man appeals to our natural sense of loving ourselves and thus deceives us.
Every true believer in Jesus is united with Christ in His death, burial, and resurrection. By God’s grace, the believer actually participates in Jesus’ death, which destroys the penalty and power of sin. The Christian participates in Jesus’ burial, which leaves the old sinful person behind in the grace. The believer comes alive in Jesus’ resurrection, which makes Him a new person sharing in the new life of Christ.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 159, Used by Permission.
God’s will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife’s own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife’s time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day. Whether her husband is a faithful Christian man or an unbeliever, God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife- an excellent wife.
The Excellent Wife, Focus Publishing Incorporated, p. 4. Get this book!
Wives are not the only ones instructed to respect their husbands. Children are told to honor their fathers (Ephesians 6:2-3). If you are disrespectful to your husband, your children will likely acquire the same attitude. It will be much more difficult for them to honor their father if you are belittling him and speaking to him in a harsh, sarcastic tone of voice.
The Excellent Wife, Focus Publishing Incorporated, p. 114. Get this book!
The wife must focus on her THREE GOD-GIVEN BASIC RESPONSIBILITIES towards her husband: to love him, to respect him, and to submit to him. Her “good works” are not dependent on what her husband does, but on her obedience to God in these three areas.
The Excellent Wife, Focus Publishing Incorporated, p. 130. Get this book!
Lazy people are often busy, but they are not busy doing the work that God has given them to do. They are incredibly self-indulgent.
Becoming a Titus 2 Woman, Focus Publishing, 1997, p. 116. Get this book!
Like Elijah, Jeremiah, Jesus, or Paul, you may be experiencing intense loneliness. A woman does not have to be single to be lonely. She can be married and living with her husband. In fact, her loneliness may be exaggerated because of feeling trapped in a marriage with a man who is withdrawn and aloof. Elijah and Jeremiah were overwhelmed with their loneliness. Jesus and Paul were not. The difference is Elijah and Jeremiah felt sorry for themselves while Jesus and Paul sought refuge in God.
The Excellent Wife, Focus Publishing Incorporated, p. 229. Get this book!
All Christian men and women supernaturally have the positional unity Jesus prayed for in John seventeen. If they are husband and wife, they are also united by God into “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). The Hebrew word for “one” is echad which means “one, alike, altogether, or all at once.” The very same word is used in Deuteronomy 6:4 for “the Lord is one.” In other words, somehow God makes the husband and wife into “one” as the Trinity is one, a compound unity.
The Excellent Wife, Focus Publishing Incorporated, p. 28. Get this book!
The goal of the Christian husband and wife in their marriage is to have a oneness that is characterized by a loving spiritual and physical bond that glorifies God and thereby enhances personal spiritual growth (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:22-33; Galatians 6:1; Hebrews 13:4). Oneness and spiritual growth are achieved as each partner helps the other become as much like the Lord Jesus Christ as possible. This spiritual growth and oneness in marriage does not happen by chance. It happens in direct proportion to how diligent a couple is in pursuing it.
The Excellent Wife, Focus Publishing Incorporated, p. 34. Get this book!
Many wives strive for physical beauty, but Scripture says that “beauty is vain” (Proverbs 31:30). While it’s alright for her to adorn herself with outward beauty, a godly wife’s first concern is to adorn herself more with inward beauty. You do this by being submissive to your husband with the attitude of a “meek and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:3). You develop a “meek and quiet spirit” by humbly trusting God while being submissive to your husband. Your motivation comes from placing your hope and trust in God just like the “holy women” in “former times” (1 Peter 3:5).
The Excellent Wife, Focus Publishing Incorporated, p. 177-178. Get this book!
A Titus 2 woman is an older, mature Christian woman who teaches and encourages the younger women. Her ministry is based on the Scripture passage in Titus 2:3-5. It seemed to me that every Christian woman regardless of age or marital status should aspire to become a Titus 2 Woman. It also seemed to me that most churches today are woefully lacking in the training of these ladies. They may have organized woman’s functions, but there seems to be few if any older women who are discipling the younger women biblically as required in Titus 2:3-5.
Becoming a Titus 2 Woman, Focus Publishing, 1997, Introduction. Get this book!