Flaunting authority is always wrong. Talking about this authority when there is no reason to be talking about it often leads to abuse. The brandishing of authority for its own sake shows that the parent fails to recognize that the authority is given for the benefit of the child. Such assertion of authority often leads to the establishment of foolish and overly rigid rules. If “His commandments are not grievous” (1 John 5:3), why should ours be?
You can do little for the welfare of your children once you have lost your authority over them. Don’t allow them by your lightness, weakness, and folly, to trample upon you; but keep up so much authority that your word may be a law unto them. Nevertheless, do not let your authority be strained with such harshness and fierceness as may discourage your children. To treat our children like slaves, and with such rigor that they shall always tremble and abhor the idea of coming into our presence, is very unlike our heavenly Father.
You will see many in this day who allow their children to choose and think for themselves long before they are able, and even make excuses for their disobedience, as if it were a thing not to be blamed. To my eyes, a parent always yielding, and a child always having its own way, are a most painful sight – painful, because I see God’s appointed order of things inverted and turned upside down – painful, because I feel sure the consequence to that child’s character in the end will be self-will, pride, and self-conceit. You must not wonder that men refuse to obey their Father which is in heaven, if you allow them, when children, to disobey their father who is upon earth.
Rejection of parental authority is a rejection of God’s authority. And the rejection of God’s authority is, in fact, claiming his authority as my own. It is an attempt to be God. Whether your teenager realizes it or not, the stakes could not be higher!
One of the foundational heart issues in the life of every child is authority. Teaching and modeling the protective beauty of authority is one of the foundations of good parenting.
Fourteen Christian Principles of Parenting. Desiring God Website, You Don’t Need More Parenting Advice, https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/you-dont-need-more-parenting-advice
As a parent you must exercise authority. You must require obedience of your children because they are called by God to obey and honor you. You must exercise authority, not as a cruel taskmaster, but as one who truly loves them.
As a parent you have authority because God calls you to be an authority in your child’s life. You have the authority to act on behalf of God. As a father or mother, you do not exercise rule over your jurisdiction, but over God’s. You act at His command. You discharge a duty that He has given. You may not try to shape the lives of your children as pleases you, but as pleases Him.
Submission to earthly authority is a specific application of being a creature under God’s authority. Submission to God’s authority may seem distant and theoretical. Mom and Dad, however, are present. Obedience to God is reflected in a child’s growing understanding of obedience to parents. Acquaint your children with authority and submission when they are infants. This training starts the day you bring them home from the hospital.