The carefully developed view of the biblical counseling movement is not that the Scriptures provide Christians with all of the information we desire but rather with the understanding we need to do counseling ministry.
What Jesus clearly meant [in Matthew 7:1-2] is that we should avoid judgmental and condemnatory attitudes that are harsh and critical, judgment where we are thinking the worst of someone instead of the best (Luke 6:37-38; 1 Cor. 13:7).
We are not called to rejoice at suffering in and of itself. Suffering is bad, suffering is hard, and suffering often comes at the hands of wicked people. Therefore, we do not rejoice in suffering because we love the suffering in and of itself. We rejoice in suffering because we look forward to what God is able to do through our suffering. Paul [in Romans 5:1-5] celebrated the fact that through our sufferings and afflictions God is bringing about endurance, proven character, and hope.
Porn is the trading of gratitude for greed. Porn trades joy in the reality God has graced you with for greed in the counterfeit world He has not.
This is the vicious cycle of lust. Lust never has what it wants because it never has enough. Lust steals joy by creating an endless state of discontentment in the constant search for that one next thing you don’t have yet. Lust is never happy because lust is never full.
Though you may initially be drawn to Christ out of your great need to be free from pornography, your struggle against this sin is just the beginning of God’s greater purpose in saving you. You are saved, not just to be free from pornography, but to know and experience the joy of walking with Jesus, of following Him, and of becoming more and more like Him.
Every instance of treasuring images of sexual immorality in our hearts, every eager glance at pornography, all of our lustful gawking — everything — is paid for by Jesus in his death for sinners.
A living, breathing relationship with the Savior of the world will drive porn out of your life quicker than anything else. When you turn your eyes to Jesus, there isn’t room for anything else in your heart because He fills it up. When you open the blinds of a pitch-black room, the sunlight drives away the darkness.
The tide will begin to turn in your struggle against pornography when you begin to grasp forgiving grace and transforming grace, as you learn to repent.
Pornography is a wholly selfish act that eclipses the concerns, needs, and well-being of everyone around you (1 Thessalonians 4:3–7).
Pornography is a plague that has destroyed countless lives and can also destroy yours. The sobering truth is that you do not have the resources to change within yourself.
If you are trusting in Jesus, pornography will never have the final say in your life. Forty-five zillion years from now, pornography will be nowhere in your mind as you perpetually behold the beauty of the spotless Lamb who was slain for your sin and mine. There is a day coming — and it is not far away — when you will see Jesus himself. When you see Him, He will change you into His perfect likeness.
Jesus’ grace to change you is stronger than pornography’s power to destroy you. Jesus’ grace is stronger than your own desires to watch sex.
Godly sorrow doesn’t fear that people will find out about your sin. Rather, you fear that God — the only person who ultimately matters — always knew. I am a very sinful man in great need of the blood of Jesus to forgive me for all the ways I have failed God.
Until God is your chief concern — until sinning against Him is what makes your heart break — you will never turn the corner.
Employing radical measures is the path to life, while indulging sin is the path to hell. God does not forbid sexual immorality because He wants you to be miserable; God forbids it because sexual immorality leads to brokenness, sadness, emptiness, death, and hell.
Though the initial stages of temptation seem innocent, fun, and even enjoyable, eventually the sin of indulging in the adulterous woman of porn will take over your life and consume your time, your strength, and your body (Proverbs 5).
I have no statistics on how long the average career is for actresses in pornography, but I’ll bet it’s pretty short. I’m confident there are no porn actresses who are sixty years old. Probably not even forty. Why not? Because selfish men who consume porn like their women young. For such men, there’s no interest in wrinkles, liver spots, or white hair. There’s no attraction in crow’s-feet, varicose veins, and sagging skin. In other words, there’s no interest in real women.
God does not “hate” sex; He hates faithless sex with forbidden women, but He loves faithful sexual expressions in the context of marriage. God loves it so much that He commands, not just that it happen, but that it be enjoyed to the point of intoxication.
Only arrogant men look at pornography.
Men look at pornography out of an arrogant desire to see women in a way that God does not allow. They show arrogant defiance to God’s commands, rejecting the delight of sexual intimacy in marriage and deciding for themselves what they believe is better — looking at naked women in porn. They show arrogant disregard for God’s call to selfless marital love. They show arrogant derision for the female actresses whom they should be seeking to respect as women who need to hear the good news of Jesus. They show arrogant disdain for their own children by hiding their sin and inviting the enemy into their home and their marriage. They show arrogant disrespect toward all those who would be scandalized if their sin were known. The root problem with men who look at porn is not neediness — it is arrogance.
It is impossible to look at porn and be humble. Because this is true, it gives us a key weapon in the fight against porn.
The Scriptures teach…that persons have two constituent parts that exist in one unique whole; these constituent parts are called the “body” and “spirit” or the “inner person” and the “outer person.” The two elements may be distinguished but cannot ultimately be separated. Both are an essential aspect of a human being. Christians, therefore, should never discount either the spirit or the body. We do not counsel people to overcome their physical distress with some sort of “mind over matter” willpower. Instead, in harmony with Scripture, we take the body seriously. Scripture affirms that people need food (James 2:15-16), water (Rom. 12:20), and sleep (Eccl. 5:12). Paul affirmed the use of medicinal substances for the body (1 Tim. 5:23).