Even when circumstances or theology vindicate [one’s] side of the conflict, a man can still be a quarrelsome man. This may demonstrate itself in a lack of gentleness, a propensity to taking rigid positions when none are required, an inability to lose graciously, or simply an over-love of debate. Whatever the form it takes, quarrelsomeness is a serious impediment to effective service.
There is no immunity from conflict. It gets us all in the end. Its targets are wide, its pains prolonged. Arguments, aggression, even complete relationship breakdown can happen to anyone. Regardless of the deftness we normally bring to our relationships, when conflict surfaces its power to overwhelm us can be deeply perplexing.
What is conflict in its essence? It’s easy to recognize its surface symptoms: the anger, the panic, the shakes and the collywobbles. None of us welcomes the unpleasant responses it stimulates. But the working basis of conflict is confrontation, a clash of interests, an argument, perhaps an ongoing state of active and continuous dissatisfaction. Its effects are both personal and global, touching the lives of individuals, families, whole organizations, even nations or groups of nations. Conflict begins with matters of value, concern, anger or philosophy. It can end with agitation, anger, hostile action, even the termination of otherwise long-cherished human bonds of friendship and marriage.
Factions always breed fractions.
When is conflict a sign of danger?
1. When the conflict is a repeated pattern in your life.
2. When many or most conflicts remain unresolved.
3. When you sense a pattern of unwillingness to be open to other positions of thinking.