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Quotes of Author: Scott-turansky-and-joanne-miller

1.
Although you may be able to “control” young children, the key word for teenagers is “influence.” Here are five words that describe different ways you can influence teens. 1. Teach – provide them with new information or help them understand another facet of life. 2. Encourage – remind them of the benefits of moving in the right direction. 3. Entreat – earnestly ask them to act in a mature, responsible, and wise way. 4. Admonish – warn, caution, or advise them by anticipating possible negative consequences. 5. Persuade – use relationship, incentives, and natural consequences to motivate them to make wise choices.

Although you may be able to "control" young children, the key word for teenagers is "influence." Here are five words that describe different ways you can influence teens. 1. Teach - provide them with new information or help them understand another facet of life. 2. Encourage - remind them of the benefits of moving in the right direction. 3. Entreat - earnestly ask them to act in a mature, responsible, and wise way. 4. Admonish - warn, caution, or advise them by anticipating possible negative consequences. 5. Persuade - use relationship, incentives, and natural consequences to motivate them to make wise choices.

Reference:   Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected]


2.
It’s important to understand that anger is not good as a response to problems. It usually builds walls, increases tension, and contributes to distance in relationships. But we do believe that anger is good for identifying problems. Once you understand anger, you’ll be able to use it to your advantage to point out problems in life. Then you must move into another mode or plan to solve those problems.

It's important to understand that anger is not good as a response to problems. It usually builds walls, increases tension, and contributes to distance in relationships. But we do believe that anger is good for identifying problems. Once you understand anger, you’ll be able to use it to your advantage to point out problems in life. Then you must move into another mode or plan to solve those problems.

Reference:   Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected]


3.
Five Causes of Anger: 1. Physical Pain. 2. Blocked Goals. 3. Violated Rights. 4. Unfairness. 5. Unmet Expectations.

Five Causes of Anger: 1. Physical Pain. 2. Blocked Goals. 3. Violated Rights. 4. Unfairness. 5. Unmet Expectations.

Reference:   Adapted from: Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected]


4.
There’s a big difference between punishment and discipline. Punishment gives a negative consequence, but discipline means "to teach." Punishment is negative; discipline is positive. Punishment focuses on past misdeeds. Discipline focuses on future good deeds. Punishment is often motivated by anger. Discipline is motivated by love. Punishment focuses on justice to balance the scales. Discipline focuses on teaching, to prepare for next time.

There's a big difference between punishment and discipline. Punishment gives a negative consequence, but discipline means "to teach." Punishment is negative; discipline is positive. Punishment focuses on past misdeeds. Discipline focuses on future good deeds. Punishment is often motivated by anger. Discipline is motivated by love. Punishment focuses on justice to balance the scales. Discipline focuses on teaching, to prepare for next time.

Reference:   Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected]


5.
Use working definitions [with your children]:

1. Obedience is doing what someone says, right away, without being reminded.

2. Honor is treating people as special, doing more than what’s expected, and having a good attitude.

3. Perseverance is hanging in there even after you feel like quitting.

4. Attentiveness is showing people you love them by looking at them when they say their words.

5. Patience is waiting with a happy heart.

6. Self-discipline is putting off present rewards for future benefits.

7. Gratefulness is being thankful for the things I have instead of grumbling about the things I don’t have.

Use working definitions [with your children]: 1. Obedience is doing what someone says, right away, without being reminded. 2. Honor is treating people as special, doing more than what’s expected, and having a good attitude. 3. Perseverance is hanging in there even after you feel like quitting. 4. Attentiveness is showing people you love them by looking at them when they say their words. 5. Patience is waiting with a happy heart. 6. Self-discipline is putting off present rewards for future benefits. 7. Gratefulness is being thankful for the things I have instead of grumbling about the things I don’t have.

Reference:   Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected]


6.
Lying is stating something, either written, oral, or with other signals, with the intent to mislead.

Lying is stating something, either written, oral, or with other signals, with the intent to mislead.

Reference:   Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Anger in You and Your Kids, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected]


7.
Leaders have an agenda, look for ways to incorporate others into their plans, and have a high need for control in life. Balanced with graciousness, leaders become a treasure because they make things happen, create organization out of chaos, and motivate people to action.

Leaders have an agenda, look for ways to incorporate others into their plans, and have a high need for control in life. Balanced with graciousness, leaders become a treasure because they make things happen, create organization out of chaos, and motivate people to action.

Reference:   Parenting is Heart Work, National Center for Biblical Parenting, 76 Hopatcong Drive, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648, www.biblicalparenting.org, 1-800.771.8334, email [email protected]