The person characterized by a foolish heart has a propensity to make an idol of escape, pleasure, self-sufficiency, or self-gratification. They may find themselves constantly in the pursuit of certain feelings, objects or the accumulation of things. This person may find themselves making conscious and/or unconscious statements like “I want it now!” or “I just can’t help myself!” The person who chooses to not deal with a foolish heart may be characterized by consuming addictions, blame-shifting, irresponsibility, and self-destruction. Others might comment that their actions and attitude are cavalier, irresponsible, lazy, selfish or immature.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 185, Used by Permission.
The person characterized by a despairing heart has a propensity to make an idol of easing pain, feeling good, and creating comforts. This person may find themselves making conscious and/or unconscious statements like “I deserve!” or “I’m totally helpless!” The person who chooses to not deal with a despairing heart may be characterized by a victim mentality, an inordinate need for security, self-pity, strained relationships and a propensity to self-medicate or escape through fantasy or self-destructive behavior. Others might comment that their behavior or moods are melancholy, or down in the dumps, when relating to others they can be distant, isolating, draining, or self-absorbed.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 185, Used by Permission.
[It is] God’s intent to bring conviction, not condemnation.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 188, Used by Permission.
It is hypocritical to tell a counselee to trust God while you lean on your own skills, effort, and rehearsed Bible knowledge. Sometimes more Bible knowledge only beads up on a hard heart, and prayer is often the only way to furrow the soil so the Word can take root.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 188, Used by Permission.
Our goal in counseling is threefold: 1. To get the counselee to see God’s character and compassion through the lens of Scripture; 2. To get the counselee to see himself and his problems as God does; 3. To get the counselee to feel God’s conviction and comfort as he peers intensely into the mirror of His Word.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 183, Used by Permission.
A large part of good counseling is helping counselees see that at the root of all psychological problems are theological errors. No one can have a proper view of self without a proper view of God.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 179, Used by Permission.
The person characterized by an angry heart has a propensity to make an idol of power, control, having their own way, or to be covetous. This person might find themselves making conscious and/or unconscious statements like, “I want respect or peace!” or “I can’t believe so and so!” A person who chooses not to deal with an angry heart may be characterized by bitterness, judgment toward others, discontentment, lack of joy, and strained relationships and/or continual conflict in relationships. Others might comment that their actions and attitude can be volatile, ungrateful, condemning, grouchy, intimidating, irritable or difficult.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 185, Used by Permission.
The person characterized by a fearful heart has a propensity to make an idol of security, perfection, or looking better than they are. This person may find themselves making conscious and/or unconscious statements like “Will they reject me?” or “I can’t risk it!” or “Where is God?” The person who chooses to not deal with a fearful heart may be characterized by false guilt and shame, social and/or spiritual paralysis, fear of man, and a shaken faith. Others might comment that their behavior or moods are up and down, nervous, tentative, and their social interactions are sometimes avoidant, or even paranoid in nature.
Counseling the Hard Cases, Edited by Stuart Scott and Health Lambert, B&H Publishing, 2012, p. 185, Used by Permission.